Marriage, put simply, is hard work.
All marriages have a sexual component; after all, it’s about a man and a woman living together, so you would expect sex to be regular and an integral part of the relationship.
But there are marriages, and I dare say many marriages that are sexless. They are married and live together in harmony, but there’s absolutely zero sex any longer. They might even sleep in the same bed, but there is no intercourse.
Men in this situation may suffer in silence for many years but will need advice on handling this and a full life. Read on, as these tips are great.
Living a normal life in a sexless marriage can be a real issue. It can take a real toll on the marriage and lead to so many insecurities like, is she cheating on me? Are we still in love, or is it worth it to be married to this person? No sex in most cases means that the love will slowly die, and eventually, it will end in a divorce.
Most couples in marriages, according to WebMD, have sex at least once a week. In fact, 25% of couples have sex weekly, 16% have sex twice or thrice per week, and 10% did not have sex in the past year. So there is a group of men who are never having sex, and if you drill further, how many of the men having sex in the marriage are having erectile dysfunction issues due to age or poor health?
A sexless marriage is a common problem.
Many Australian men live in sexless marriages, and for whatever reason, they don’t have intercourse with their wives, which can go on for years. A sexless marriage often leads to the courts where they divorce due to the other partner looking for sex. You have to ask: What came first … the cheating or the lack of sex? News.com.au has a great article, Sexless: What causes your partner to cheat, details a sexless marriage.
Reasons for a sexless marriage
Why does a marriage turn sexless? After all, you used to be having sex all the time. In the kitchen, hotel rooms and at every opportunity, the two of you were going for it. We know this is a common problem, so the following are reasons why sex dies in a marriage.
Fighting and resentment
Constant fighting happens; if issues and problems are not resolved, there is resentment. Couples with this resentment will grow apart unless they can find a solution to their arguments. Physical violence can occur when a man hits a woman; verbal and psychological abuse can also lead to a deterioration in the sex life of a couple, as all these factors add up to a loss of trust, love and affection. According to The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare – family, domestic and sexual violence is a major health and welfare issue in Australia. According to the 2021–22 PSS, an estimated 3.6 million Australian adults (19% of the population) have experienced emotional abuse at least once by a partner since age 15. And, don’t think that the violence or abuse can come from the men; it can come from dominant women who can hit and psychologically torture their male partners.
Low sex drives
Guys over a certain age, say 40, will start to experience a loss of libido and, in turn, will stop having sex with their partners. They turn to supplements like Kamagra Oral Jelly or Super Kamagra Tablets for their premature ejaculation to help fuel their passion. Still, there are always underlying issues about why there is a lack of sex drive, like poor physical health, diabetes, peyronies or heart conditions like high blood pressure.
We all get lazy and become complacent with our partners. There’s work, school, the kids, the gym and all those daily life pressures add up to the point where the last thing you feel like is sex. Plus, adding into the mix to financial stress and keeping up with those mortgage repayments can lead to a reduction in sexual desire.
Lack of love or attraction
OMG, this is a huge point that’s often overlooked. But, being married to the same person for many years can get dull and boring to the point where you no longer want to have sex with the other person. Just imagine having sex with the same person for 20 or even 30 years. Now, before you start saying that I’m being ridiculous, go and ask a few men in this category and see how many times they have sex with their partners, and I’ll bet you see a common thread – zero intimacy.
Can men live in a sexless marriage?
Marital satisfaction and sexual satisfaction go hand-in-hand for couples. Without sex, I’m afraid that the relationship will be hard work. Some guys might say that sex isn’t everything and is only one component of a marriage, and there are other beautiful aspects of the union, like growing old together. But let’s be realistic here: if there’s no sex, you are bound to look for sex elsewhere, meaning cheating on your partner.
Consequences of a sexless marriage
A sexless marriage can lead to the following consequences for both men and women; you must recognise these.
Either partner who is rejected by the other will feel helpless over time and eventually become sad and depressed being in that relationship. Just imagine wanting sex with your partner, and they keep on turning their back on you.
A marriage without sex can mean one partner is not attracted to you anymore, which can have far-reaching psychological issues, including feeling worthless and low self-esteem. Once you start feeling bad about yourself, you’ll look elsewhere for partners that add positivity to your life.
Mоѕt huѕbаndѕ аnd wіvеѕ will not actively cheat on each other, but if they are not getting sex, then they’ll go online to one of the many dating apps and start searching for a partner with whom they can have regular sex.
It’s bound to happen. Get real and know that it’s expected. Couples no longer in love and aren’t attracted to each other will likely get divorced.
How to survive a sexless marriage as a man
Marriage, as stated, is tough and having a sexless marriage is even more challenging for men who are used to having regular sex. But there are ways to help overcome this issue and bring some sex, lust and passion back into your marriage.
Talk about the problem with your partner.
Only the two of you can fix the marriage and the lack of sex. Being open, honest and communicating with each other regularly will help unleash those pent-up issues and anger and hopefully shed light on the problems. You’ll be surprised by what a simple conversation can overcome and unblock those sexual frustrations. Great sex might follow; try it and see how it goes. If this fails, the next step in marriage counselling is a way to overcome marital problems. Please don’t be embarrassed to ask for help, as it’s a positive investment in your marriage and remember that it’s a common issue.
Will men in sexless marriages have affairs?
This is a tricky question to answer because it’s up to the individual. Some men might be comfortable with their partner and be in a monogamous relationship without sex. But, some men simply cannot go without their sex. Many guys in long-term marriages can’t just pick up and leave and get a divorce as there are too many other points to consider, like the kids, finances, the house, etc. Plus, they actually have a deep connection (albeit without sex) with their partner. So, no, they’ll never leave. If you are tempted to cheat, don’t! It won’t resolve anything as there are still root issues causing this lacklustre sex. But if you are intent on cheating, then expect to get caught and things to get complicated. You have been warned.
Do anything you can to save the marriage. Be open with your partner, get counselling and try to save the marriage before things turn pear-shaped. Look at everything you can lose and weigh it up carefully. And remember, if you want sex and can’t get an erection or are simply not turned on by your wife, there are medical alternatives like Viagra, Cialis and Kamagra.