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Erectile issues in men over 40 in Australia are common.
In fact, there are loads of guys out there harbouring their little secrets about their sexual performance in the bedroom.
And as a 60-year-old guy, I can tell you first-hand the issues I’ve had with ED and premature ejaculation.
It’s not something that happened instantly like I woke up in the morning and suddenly couldn’t get up. Instead, it was a subtle decrease in both libido and energy that led me to this state. I’m generally a healthy person and eat well, but I felt that this was something I couldn’t control, and it was nature’s way of telling me that I was getting old and that this was part of the aging process. So, let’s take a look at my symptoms of erectile dysfunction, which you may recognise, and point out a couple of solutions.
Low Energy Levels
There were times during the day when I just had to take a nap, generally around 2 or 3 p.m., and I wasn’t moving as much as I used to. I’d skip gym sessions, miss a couple of morning surfs, and put off going to yoga. I made all these excuses to avoid exercising in favour of taking a nap or just hanging at home and scrolling through social media feeds, which is a waste of time. Low energy levels were now part of my daily life and wreaking havoc. Plus, there was my work. I’d put off work assignments, and as part of my job, I was a business development manager. And my results were terrible. I’d have a lacklustre approach to work and chasing new business. Everything was about doing as little as possible and hanging in my bedroom. I also want to share my story about my interest in women. I am a single guy after splitting from a relationship after 15 years. I was on the dating apps but soon realised I couldn’t be bothered dating any longer. Sure, I’d check the apps to see any matches. But, as you age, you realise that you’re not going to get the matches like in the past when you had 4 or 5 matches every day, which led to a decline in self-confidence and, in turn, you started to tone down your activity on dating apps. I also want to tell you about energy levels, and as a single guy, you have to ejaculate at least once every one or two weeks. But I did notice that I wouldn’t masturbate for a month. In my younger days, I did it every couple of days, but now, with these low energy levels, I just couldn’t be bothered and didn’t want to. When porn doesn’t excite you, then you know your libido and energy levels are done, which is a strong sign you are heading into erectile dysfunction land. No porn, no dating, no work motivation and no exercise are red flags to look out for.
Moody, depressed and catastrophising
As I hit my mid-50s and powered into my 60s, I started to notice that I couldn’t remember the last time I felt excited about anything or was in a good mood. Plus, any small problem that came my way, I’d find it difficult to handle it. My mind would always go to the worst possible outcome, and I’d fixate on this. Now, I know this can happen to younger guys, but when you combine this with little exercise and poor work performance, you start to get stuck in a negative rut that you find hard to extricate yourself from. In this state and cycle of negativity and low libido, the last thing on my mind was sex. In fact, when I did have the rare opportunity to have sex, I didn’t look forward to it. And during the process of making love, my mind was always shifting to my problems and thinking about when would this sexual encounter be finished. I tried to rush to get through it, but slowly, I’d start to fear and not look forward to sex, which had a massive impact on my performance. Now, when I was going to have sex, I just couldn’t be bothered, and in turn, I couldn’t perform or get it up. I was not heading into hard-core erectile dysfunction, and I was getting really upset about this. Now, every time I was about to have sex, I would be in a state of panic, which had a massive snowball effect; it was getting worse and manifesting itself into a whole new ball game of sexual anxiety and performance.
Changing the way I perceive myself physically.
There are mornings when you look at yourself in the mirror and are aghast with what you see. Those youthful, handsome looks are gone. Now you’ve got saggy skin, wrinkles and a thinning hairline. Plus, all those greys! OMG, when did this happen, and why so quickly? When you don’t find yourself attachable physically, you start to manifest negative thoughts about will the opposite sex will find you attractive and will be able to keep a partner with your fading looks. All of this may sound self-absorbed and superficial, but deep down, your looks play a significant part in your mindset about who you are, your self-worth, and, as it mulls over and over in your mind, your ability to perform sexually. When I’m having sex and pulling all those pleasure faces, I often wonder what she’s thinking about my body, my looks, my face and my penis. All these questions, doubts and negative thoughts bleed into sexual dysfunction. You may think you can control it, but trust me, it will overcome you and eventually affect your ability in the bedroom. And the worst part is that a few years ago, I accidentally hit my penis on a girl’s vagina incorrectly (yes, this can happen), and it caused trauma to my penis, which resulted in an issue called Peyronies where I have a slight curve of about 30 degrees in my shaft. Yes, this happened decades ago, and I’m used to it, but it does play a part in my mind when I’m worried about what she thinks of my dick. All up a sexual performance and erectile dysfunction nightmare.
Enough of the negativity; it’s time to take action.
There’s only so much you can take with this negativity and sexual prowess. I was fed up with not being able to have sex, being scared of it and catastrophising the situation. The sexual dysfunction rabbit hole was dominating my life, and I needed to put an end to it and take positive, proactive steps to turn this boat around.
Steps I followed as a 60-year-old guy to help beat erectile dysfunction.
1) I adjusted my diet to intermittent fasting to lose a few kilos. I went from 83 kilos to 74 kilos in two months, and believe it or not, I got a six-pack. Having a better body makes a huge difference in your self-perception and attitude, which can change your thoughts in bed, which is a great start in overcoming ED. For many guys, I know this is super hard; you must stake the effort.
2) I made sure I went to the gym every day without fail. There were days when I just couldn’t be bothered, but I made the effort and pushed myself.
3) I changed my diet. I cut out all carbs (bread, rice, and pasta) and focused on healthy foods. A better body that is not bloated and does not carry an extra tyre around your waist makes a massive difference to self-respect, motivation to look better, and desire to chase women, have sex, or be more with your partner.
4) I knew there were some things with age that I definitely needed a hand with, and that was my erections. While they were OK, it was nothing like I had in my 20s, and I wanted to feel that gain and not go down the road of acceptance of mediocre erections. A mate of mine told me about this thing you could take called Kamagra that would help with my erections. I currently take daily Cialis 5 mg, which is OK, but to be honest, it doesn’t give you the boost you need. It worked moderately well in my 40s and 50s but never gave me the edge I wanted. Trust me when I tell you this Kamagra Oral Jelly is amazing and works for me. I combined it with all these other health improvements and found it a winning formula. I have it in my wallet as it comes in a small packet and about 10-minutes before sex I’ll take it. Try it and see!